Sister by JS

(Sn: i wish i could find this song somewhere)

"Papa was a rolling stone,
wherever he laid his hat was his home"

since i was in high school, i have
been trying to get in contact with my half bros and sisters.
all like ten of them...yes ten. .
in the beginning one or two were receptive.
now that i have
basically given, one of my sisters contacts me..
i know i should be giving her a chance right now.
but i have a hard time "submitting" to anyone.
(seeing as i tried in the past)
i probably should really talk to this one.
seeing as she just moved to fla from ct/md. (of all places)
....odd...
I am going to give her a call back on tuesday..
just pray for me yall.
i may be exaggerating but this is big for me.

*pray for my 20 yo half sister Shayla, she is having a baby in July!!!

We are family!!!

This is the first time in a long time that I have actually been excited about my life.. There's nothing in particular going on. I just think my outlook on life is not jumbled by the crap going on in my life. No matter how much people piss me off (which is often), i know that today is the first day of the rest of life. I know that change happens, not by saying it, but by acting on it. I am ready to act on it.. As I am writing this post, I am trying to write an outline for the next year.... where I want to be in my personal life, academically and socially. I am refuse to complain about the state of which I am in. I did this to myself. My fear of letting everyone else down and just my fear alone has kept me from moving on in my life. my first course of action was to quit a job that had been content with. After three long years of getting cussed out by residents and adapting to the people I now call my friends, I quit. I didn't really understand what that meant until recently. It was me saying that being content isn't enough for me. I am ready to move on in life. So i took another job to try to make more money in an attempt to save. So far not so good. but i am still making more money than I did working at my last job. God knows where my heart is. I know he has a plan for my life, and I will definitely not step on his toes.

As for my love life.. I am having a wonderful time loving myself and God. No one else needs to be factured in at this point. I admit I still deeply care for my ex from 3 years ago, but I need to focus. Get my life straightened before I bring anyone else in my "Me Time." Love is a very powerful thing, I need to make sure that whoever I give my love to deserves it. Though, he tells me that he loves, he needs to prove it before I can go any further.

I am excited to announce that I am going to GA this coming weekend. I have not seen my family (my Aunt that raised me and my cousins) in almost 4 years!!! Though facebook, does it job with connecting people. I am so happy to be in their prescence. Being with them, makes me wish my immediate family was as open and as loving as their's is. We encourage each other to succeed in any and all goals that each other may have, we relive old memories, we smile and don't argue. Time to precious for us to be arguing.. It's so peaceful as well as spiritually and mentally cleansing. The reason of this spendid visit is my little cousin is graduating from high school!!!! She and grew up as sisters. We argued like the best of them and shared secrets like the best them. She is five years younger than me and yet she is soo wise beyond her years.

That is it for this post.. I will be back in a few lol

peace, love and blessings,

trice <3

New year.. new problems

Though it has been forever since i have blessed my own page (due to lack of computer). i have been thinking much about what i would write when i did come back. Let's start with whats going on with me. My love life... none. My social life.. don't have one. My work life... oh, see that's where everything come into play. I have been working my behind but it still gets me nowhere. My jobs are doing everything but helping me. And my family is doing anything except encouraging me. Though surprisingly, my mom did just give her car. 2006 Honda Accord. If you knew the back story with my mom, you would understand why I said surprisingly. Though I can say she has blessed more than I think she can grasp, It didn't help that only time she has even called me after she gave me her car was to tell me I need to lose weight and basically do something with my life (as if i don't think about this everyday of my life). You see I am not in school, though it is not by choice. (i like the word "though" as you can probably tell.) Though there are many reasons why i am not, i am not going to post on here. Which leads me to today, I want to leave Gainesville, FL as much as I want to go to school. That is A LOT. Needless to say, it is my life and my choice. the problem is every time i think about moving, i think about my family. I know if i were to move back to TN, i would be happy and at peace of mind. When i lived in TN, I worked 40 hours a week and i went to church at lease three to four days a week. I was the happiest i had ever been in my life. if i were to stay in florida, like my family wants me to, i will resent them. i know because i am already starting to. I have cried over this, definitely lost sleep over this. What i want to do with my life vs what my immediate family wants me to do. They don't how much this has really burdened me and i am not going to tell them how much it has. All I want, all i have ever wanted, was to go to school but i want to go where i choose to.

i will find a way on my own, i always do.

New year, old problems.

Until next time,

Latrice.

Happy New Year

I hope that you new year is filled with tons of blessings.
Love & Be Blessed, Latrice