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Wednesday, January 5, 2011

New year.. new problems

Though it has been forever since i have blessed my own page (due to lack of computer). i have been thinking much about what i would write when i did come back. Let's start with whats going on with me. My love life... none. My social life.. don't have one. My work life... oh, see that's where everything come into play. I have been working my behind but it still gets me nowhere. My jobs are doing everything but helping me. And my family is doing anything except encouraging me. Though surprisingly, my mom did just give her car. 2006 Honda Accord. If you knew the back story with my mom, you would understand why I said surprisingly. Though I can say she has blessed more than I think she can grasp, It didn't help that only time she has even called me after she gave me her car was to tell me I need to lose weight and basically do something with my life (as if i don't think about this everyday of my life). You see I am not in school, though it is not by choice. (i like the word "though" as you can probably tell.) Though there are many reasons why i am not, i am not going to post on here. Which leads me to today, I want to leave Gainesville, FL as much as I want to go to school. That is A LOT. Needless to say, it is my life and my choice. the problem is every time i think about moving, i think about my family. I know if i were to move back to TN, i would be happy and at peace of mind. When i lived in TN, I worked 40 hours a week and i went to church at lease three to four days a week. I was the happiest i had ever been in my life. if i were to stay in florida, like my family wants me to, i will resent them. i know because i am already starting to. I have cried over this, definitely lost sleep over this. What i want to do with my life vs what my immediate family wants me to do. They don't how much this has really burdened me and i am not going to tell them how much it has. All I want, all i have ever wanted, was to go to school but i want to go where i choose to.

i will find a way on my own, i always do.

New year, old problems.

Until next time,


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